Heroism
by Anyia
Summary: Neria Surana and her newest companion, Loghain Mac Tir, discuss what it means to be a hero.


**HEROISM**

A Dragon Age fanfic by Anyia

_Author's Note: The Warden featured in this fic is my friend's elven Arcane Warrior/Bloodmage, Neria Surana. She allowed Alistair to be executed and had Loghain replace him in her party. *ducks to avoid Alibear fans' virtual tomatoes*_

_You can read more about Neria's exploits in my other fanfic, "Unbidden"._

The clinking of her armor announced her approach, and Loghain Mac Tir rose to face her. It had been several days since he had joined the Warden after his defeat at the Landsmeet, but he still found the sight of her to be disturbingly unnatural. An elven mage wearing heavy armor with a sword and shield on her back…it was unthinkable. Even though the armor had been customized to fit her just so, her frail frame should not have been able to support the weight of the metal. He didn't know what manner of sorcery was at work within her body, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out.

To add to Loghain's discomfort, the armor she wore and the shield she carried once belonged to King Cailan himself, and the sword…

Loghain had to swallow a rather large lump of discomfort whenever he saw the sword. It belonged to King Maric Theirin. During the Landsmeet he nearly cried out in rage when she walked into the chambers wearing Theirin arms and armor and with a smug look on her face.

Yet she managed to prove herself an opponent worthy of his respect by beating him in single combat. She was a notoriously powerful maleficar, but she did not cast any of her blood magic in the Landsmeet chamber. Even so, at the end of it all she had him beaten and bloodied on the floor, he felt like a foolish, naive army recruit for underestimating her abilities.

_There's strength in you that I've not seen in anyone since Maric died,_ he told her, and he wasn't lying. She bested him both as a warrior and as a leader, and it seemed that he became more impressed by her abilities with each passing day.

Seeing the sword on her back or in her hands during combat was no longer infuriating, but it brought back memories that he tried to bury in the bowels of his heart for years.

Loghain cleared his throat as the Warden stood before him, carrying a rather large package wrapped in canvas. "Did you need something, Warden?"

She looked up at him with irritation written all over her face. "Is it so easy for you to forget that you are now a Warden as well, Loghain? Address me by my name."

It wasn't a request. Loghain snorted. "Very well. Neria."

The elven mage nodded in approval despite the obvious indignation in his tone, and turned her attention to the objects propped up against the crate he had been sitting on. "Your sword and shield need replacing."

Loghain looked down at the items in question. The sword had been with him for a few years now, but that single battle with her had damaged it tremendously. It was chipped in places, and he was finding it difficult to restore its original sharpness. The shield was equally damaged, dented in various spots. "I would have replaced them," he said. "But your dwarven merchant seems to be fresh out of decent equipment."

The mage smiled knowingly. "I specifically told Bodahn to keep his good stock hidden unless I asked for it myself." She stepped over to the crate and placed the package on top of it. "Your new shield, ser."

Loghain frowned at the package. "How much did this cost you?"

"Does it matter?" Neria shrugged. "I do not intend to make my companions pay for their own equipment."

_Companions. _Was that what they were now? Loghain sighed as he bent down on one knee to start unwrapping the shield. He had only opened the package halfway when he sucked a hissing breath between his teeth. He _knew_ this shield. His hands trembled as he pulled off the rest of the canvas, revealing the shield's crest. "This…" he stammered. "This is Maric's Shield."

"Yes," the Warden said, moving around him and setting another object on top of the crate. "And this is Maric's Blade."

The sword alone had been bad enough, but together with the shield… Loghain grit his teeth and attempted to choke down bitter memories and the emotions they evoked. "Why?" He managed to murmur after a few moments of silence. "Why are you giving these to me?"

The Warden's lips quirked up into a half-smile. "Do you suspect me of bribery or generosity? I honestly don't know which would be more insulting." She the light of the sword's runes seemed to dance in her silver-blue eyes as she continued looking down at him. "These happen to be the best longsword and shield we have for a warrior in this miserable little camp of ours. I merely thought it fitting that you wield them."

Loghain snorted at that. "You bested me in combat. If I am to follow your line of thinking, then _you_ should be the one wielding them."

The Warden let out an exasperated sigh and sat down in front of the crate. "These belonged to a good friend of yours, did they not?"

Loghain looked away as he responded. "Yes. They did."

"Then keep them," she said, in a tone so gentle he would not have believed it was she who spoke if she hadn't been sitting right in front of him.

"You owe me no favors, Neria," Loghain said. "I've endangered your life countless times, and from what I understand, that blood mage I hired was…"

"Jowan," Neria murmured. "His name was Jowan."

"Jowan," Loghain repeated. "He was your friend?"

"The only one I had."

Her blunt honesty caught Loghain off-guard. He had intended to tell her that he only did what he needed to do to secure Ferelden's future and to protect his daughter. That he would be willing to do every sort of unthinkable deed for the sake of the kingdom and his child.

"You did what you thought you had to," she said, as though she read his mind. "And I respect that, Loghain Mac Tir." She was looking down at Maric's sword, gently tracing the runes with the tip of a slender finger. "Doing what must be done no matter what the costs… it's something I do myself. Though the reasons behind what I do are undoubtedly different from yours."

Loghain looked at her, studying her face and posture. Without the wicked smile plastered on her face, without the layers and layers of spells she wove around herself in battle, Neria Surana had the face of a young woman who went through too many hardships in too short an amount of time.

"And what are your reasons, Neria? For doing what you do?"

"I have no sense of duty, or honor," Neria said, still toying with the sword's runes. "Or patriotism, for that matter. I am no hero. Just a little elf girl, wanting to become strong enough to fend for herself and the few people she cares for." Her eyes wandered toward the fire at the heart of their camp, and Loghain didn't need to look to know she was gazing at the Antivan assassin he had sent to kill her.

She was surrounded by enemies from the very beginning, but this "little elf girl" managed to either kill them or charm them into becoming allies. For one who claimed to have no sense of duty or honor, she was performing her duties as a Grey Warden well thus far, and she spared the life of a man who had yielded to her in combat, even though he had threatened her life more than once. Past all the walls she built around herself, Neria had the potential to become a leader and a true hero, if only she cared enough to notice.

Without really thinking about it, Loghain reached out and put a bare, calloused hand on top of her head. She didn't seem to mind, but she raised her eyebrows at him questioningly.

"From what I understand," he said, looking straight at her. "Heroes are the ones who lay down everything to defend what they care for, no matter how insignificant or senseless it may seem."

Neria smirked. "The safety of the entire kingdom and a beloved daughter is hardly insignificant."

"There really is no convincing you of your merits, is there, Warden?" Loghain chuckled, roughing her hair up before pulling his hand away and standing up. "Come, then. I wish to test Maric's sword and shield before we rush headlong into a band of filthy darkspawn."

"Do not treat me like a child, Loghain," Neria scowled at him, running her fingers through her hair as she stood. "Unless you want me to prove my worth to you again."

Loghain smiled as he picked up Maric's sword and shield. "Arm yourself. I'll be waiting right here."


End file.
